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 Writer's Niche.

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Poison
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PostSubject: Writer's Niche.   Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:18 am


Original fiction you might want to share.

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PostSubject: Shadows and Light ©   Fri 27 Mar 2009, 1:34 am


Shadows and Light ©


“Like an octopus’ tentacles.” I accidentally said aloud as I once again noticed our legs and arms tangled up together along with the coarse sheets of the creaky bed we were on.

For a while, I thought he heard what I said but I felt that his steady breathing continued. Even in his sleep, I want his body against mine. He never ceases to release in me, this primal instinct of pure animalistic pleasure that his body causes my flesh to react the way it does. I placed my hand on his warm flesh, my fingers splayed on his taut, flat stomach as I explored its contours making slow small circles. I watched the night lazily through the small window with its old floral curtain. It was raining hard again in the city and I can imagine the scenario on the street. I can even hear the distant rush of footsteps as men and women hustle along to get away from this crowded place eager to go home. Listening to the blaring horns as cars swerve, and imagining the smelly drivers who always seem to run out of patience shouting at each other and so uptight in reaching the next corner. I can conceive what was going on in the heads of those people down there as they contemplate on the many things they needed to do as soon as possible. How time consuming everything is nowadays, the deadline that needed to be met within the next 24 hours by the countless working men and women on the streets. The eagerness of some to come home knowing that their family was anticipating their arrival from work. Or even the silence waiting for those who are living alone in their own house in this dense place. Yes, these are just some realities of the night a person is faced with after a long strenuous day of work.

A bolt of lightning flashed. For a while, it illuminated the room and I saw our figures on the bed like pale translucent porcelain dolls with its eerie glow cast by the sudden light. I wonder how we would look through the eyes of another person if we were seen this way here. Maybe they would find us repulsive and be condemned forever and maybe some would just wonder. My Amadeo stirred in his sleep, I covered him from the cold with the starchy white blanket careful that the rough texture would not scratch his fair skin. There was another blast of light and a roar of thunder that shook the walls of the small building followed it. Was that a warning for what I was doing? I searched blindly for my pack of cigarettes beside the small bedside table and was relieved to have found it quickly. I lit one and puffed heavily as I tried again to make some sense out of my being. I turned my head to the side and stared once again out the window. Not a single star can be seen in the horizon no matter how hard you try to catch a glimpse of one. The rain continuously poured heavily hitting the only windowpane of our rented room and it made my view of the outside world blurry. I was getting bored I put out the consumed cigarette and lit another one. I puffed like a dragon making sure that I savor the joy of satisfying my addiction to it, and then I realized that my life was like the simple act of smoking. I light a cigarette, savor it in and whatever pleasure it brings me I took advantage, of course eventually, I had to release as much smoke as I can. However, in reality of my life, I gather as much as I can but I cannot expel everything that I took in my body. Like remnants of all the nicotine inside my lungs, what was left in me was the rotten side I should have disposed of in the first place.

I watched Amadeo sleep beside me and still I felt empty. Yes he satisfies my flesh and its yearning towards pleasure but he can never satisfy my soul. Nevertheless, like old habits, I snuggled closer to him as he instinctively wrapped his arms around me. We were each other’s antithesis in this arena. My Amadeo was the beauty and life, and I was the darker side of him. All I had was my head full of eccentricities of my life and decisions that I was not always sure of. He, on the other hand, was simple in thinking and did not demand much from life and its meaning. I knew he had more freedom than I do and he seemed to take everything in stride. I do not know what he planned to do with his life but I did not really care much for I myself was in an intricate point in my existence or whatever people may call it. I know I have made countless whirlpools in my lifetime and that this time, I have created another bigger and more dangerous one with Amadeo and me in the middle. This made me wonder whether I shall ever be out of my self-made hole or end up being under it forever engulfed in the darkness.

This darkness reminded me of how I felt one time not long ago when Amadeo and I attended his sister’s wedding. I watched the whole sequence of the ceremony with Amadeo sitting beside me. I saw on the couple’s faces the happiness and hope they had for the future as they took their vows. How glorious they looked as their union was announced as husband and wife. Yes, Husband and Wife - that is what must be. I glanced at Amadeo and I knew that my union with him takes place only when we are in each other’s arms lost in bliss of nothing but carnal pleasure. We can never stand in front of the altar and say, “I do.” I felt Amadeo move.

“Don’t you want to sleep for a little while?” He said sleepily as he disrupted my thoughts.

“No. I’m okay.” I answered safely, kissed him gently on the lips and tried to recapture what it was that I was thinking of in the first place.

He went back to sleep and I closed my eyes as I tried to feel, concentrate and let thoughts drift. I eventually nodded off to sleep with Amadeo in my arms.

I woke up with a start and that gave me a splitting headache. I grabbed for a cigarette only to find out that I ran out of it already. Once again, I looked out the window and noticed that the rain had lessened its downpour. There were still the occasional flashes of lightning and the low rumbling of thunder but still it did not do much difference to lighten my soul. As I looked out the window for God knows how many times already in the past hours since we’ve been here, I can see once more the lights outside the busy streets of the city and the traffic I knew that was still in progress and had gotten worse. I did not notice the time that passed by while I laid bare reasoning with my own sardonic mind. Nor had I known that I had fallen asleep for almost an hour only to wake up with a headache. As I continued contemplating of what must be and what must not be only hours ago, I had emptied my pack of cigarettes and that was my cue that somehow I knew I needed to leave soon.

I carefully disentangled myself from Amadeo’s warm body and got up to take a shower. As I stood up I felt a cold rush through me and it made goose bumps rise on my skin. I turned on the small lamp on the side table and the dim light hurt my eyes. Amadeo was now half-awake watching me through half-opened eyes as I moved around the gloomy room, his face darkened by the cast of shadow from the small lamp. Then I walked to the bathroom and kept the water running. I stepped in the shower room and immediately felt the cold water flow down my body. I felt feverish yet completely alive all of a sudden. The cold water woke me up totally and the bright white light of the bathroom no longer hurt my eyes. As I stepped out the bathroom with the scratchy towel wrapped around me, I saw Amadeo sitting on the bed. His profile was still in the shadows and it cast a strange look to him though I knew that he was somehow smiling at me as he watched me intently. I finished getting dressed, smoothed my clothes, and approached him by the side of the bed. I looked at him gravely as I tried to think of what right words to say. But there were no more words to utter and I thought that it should always be like that in our case. I bent down and kissed him slowly. I was not sure if it was our last kiss at that time but I felt it was the thing to do.

“I have to go now.” I said to him.

“Will I see you again?” he curiously asked.

“I hope not anymore.” I replied.

I walked away from him knowing that he was there in bed and in the shadows watching my retreating form with no sadness in him. I knew he understood. That it was simply how things are and how it must eventually be.

I stepped out of the small building and was welcomed by the bright lights of the vibrant city street. The speeding of vehicles and the people hustling were continuous as everything passed me by. I glanced at the room where I came from and saw Amadeo looking out the window, his face still in the shadows. He lifted his hand, and with just one wave, he bid me goodbye. I nodded, only then did I start to join the crowd that was hurrying to go their destination. I became one of them as well, one of the many countless faces of the city always rushing and hastily going forward and never looking back in their rush towards life.

What I did was inevitable for I knew I had to move one way or the other.
After all, my wife and two kids are waiting for me at home.
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yourdyke
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PostSubject: Re: Writer's Niche.   Thu 07 May 2009, 6:58 am

beautiful language. galing!! inggit na naman ako.. hahaha!!

it's not really what was told, but HOW it was told. basta, ang galing!
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jabbawockeez
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PostSubject: Re: Writer's Niche.   Wed 09 Dec 2009, 11:15 am

Nice! isangh bagsak ditoh! galing ah! =D
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