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 The Escape

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R
Sikat
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Post Count : 128
Current Location : Makati
Sexual Identity : None
Preference : femmes/friendship

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Current Status: Attached
I am feeling..: Happy

PostSubject: The Escape   Thu 21 Jul 2011, 1:35 pm

The Escape
06.30.11


At around 11 P.M. of June 22, I have finished fixing the things you have left in our condo. I bought some boxes so that you would not have a hard time carrying all of your things. I have not even started to pack for my five days in Boracay. Probably that would explain why I have missed packing sleepwear, sun block and other necessities on the beach.

As I bid the condo adieu going to my home in Paranaque, I caught a glimpse of your things in the trickery of the shadows. I was going to my escape and the day I get back it would be over just a like a dream. I placed in anticipation that by the time I open this door again, your things will be gone, and memories of you as well.

The weather was gloomy already and the bad news of flight cancellations was just at the back of my head. Arriving at the airport 2 hours before my flight, I scouted for the check-in desk. I was thinking that the sun has just risen and I’m already up. A rooster then started crowing as if signalling the start of day or the start of my life. My head was going left and right while thinking if I have become a schizophrenic overnight. My worries disappeared when the person in front of me pointed at the box with breathing holes at the airport’s entrance. Thank God, I haven’t lost my mind, just yet.

The check-in lady greeted me with a big smile and said, “Caticlan? Naku, bakit ngayon ka pupunta? May bagyo.” I answered whimsically with a smile, “Okay lang yan. I need to go." She then informed me that the first flight was cancelled, but my optimistic side sees the sunshine behind that big dark cloud.

By 9:30 A.M. , which was my scheduled flight, the inevitable was announced “All flights to Caticlan are cancelled and will be rerouted to Kalibo.” Before I could call my booking agent to arrange a transfer from Kalibo to Boracay Island, I found myself being hurried to the airport gate to board already. I managed to send a mobile message to my brother instructing him to call the hotel and tell them that my flight has been rerouted.

Even if this is my nth time to Boracay, I have no idea where Kalibo is. Obviously I always book Caticlan. When I arrived at Kalibo around 11:30 A.M. I had no idea what to do. As if hurdled by an unknown force of stupidity, I still managed to jump in a van going to the Jetty Port of Caticlan.

My booking agent was frantically calling if I am safe and all. I told her, I will just handle everything myself until I get to the hotel. In truth, I have no idea where I was. Following the trail of people was the best idea.

At the port, it seems that the weather has worsened. The whole sky was not gray, but black, and waves and heavy rain kept tormenting my non-swimmer personae. As I boarded the boat, I felt being in a rollercoaster ride, but worse. It was so worse that the person in front of me belched his stomach’s contents.

As my head starts to spin as well, I finally arrived at the Boracay Port. Wet and food-deprived, I staggered and gained my composure at around 2:30 P.M. I arrived at the hotel shortly after a bumpy tricycle ride. I just have enough time to make myself decent and presentable for the convention.

I do not know if it was self-inflicting pain that I chose the same hotel we stayed in two years ago or simply because I have always stayed there. Was I confronting memories captured in photographs and are now kept away in the deepest dungeons of my closet? Was my escape really a confrontation? I have five days to figure that out.

Weather predictions are gloomy until the weekend.


<cont...>


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You fall in love with the person; it just so happens she is a girl. -R
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R
Sikat
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Post Count : 128
Current Location : Makati
Sexual Identity : None
Preference : femmes/friendship

My Status
Current Status: Attached
I am feeling..: Happy

PostSubject: Re: The Escape   Wed 31 Aug 2011, 8:10 am

The Escape Part II

What happened in the three day convention was not that important. It was somehow uneventful, but tiring. I sat near a wall socket so that I can play Angry Birds each day. The pencil and paper for notes were used as tools of artistic freedom. On a good note, I was able to mingle with the uppers during the meals; I was introducing myself and having little talks. Social talks with strangers, especially for elders, entail the usual conversation of relationships “May boyfriend ka na ba?” That topic of course will go to merry-matchmaking and some flattery such as “maganda na, matalino pa.” It is nothing more, but a foreshadowing of an introduction to their sons—o r grandsons.

At the end of the convention, I went back to my room and rested a bit. The three-days were indeed tiring, and I have not yet enjoyed the beach. To signal the start of my vacation with sub-title soul-searching, I have scheduled a massage in the hotel’s spa. I thought this is just what I needed, followed by two hours of serenity in the bathtub. Calmness. Everything was still. My mind was clear.

I ended the 3rd night with three glasses of mojitos, a band, and fire dancers. I just wanted to get drunk that night, but unfortunately, three glasses in a span of an hour does not make me drunk. I just did not want to think anything that day.

The next day at breakfast, I felt different. When she moved out last March prior to our break up last May, I seldom went out on my own. The grocery store has missed my weekly visits that turned into months. Often times, I would forget to eat, and often times I would forget to wake up for work. At the end of each day, when I lie down on my bed, a feeling of emptiness settles in. If I were to sum up all of my feelings for the last few months, it would be worthlessness. I could not help but feel that I should have been more exciting, less clingy, less boring, more financially stable, more adaptable, and all of my insecurities that I wish were not there. This was the first time I was alone. I did not feel self-pity. I just did not feel lonely. I felt numb. I felt void of emotions, which is ironic, because I was feeling the numbness.

After breakfast I wanted to have a henna tattoo. I have always been drawing at the back of my hand and sometimes on my forearm since grade school. I even finish my “ink” with a yellow highlighter on top of the sign pen to make it more glossy-looking. Yes, I know, imagining it sounds dirty, but I was 10. At that age it is pretty understandable. I had two hennas made, one my shoulder and one at my inner forearm.

The twenty minutes seemed like an eternity of the Henna Artist flirting, and I cringing, but it could not be helped, it seems I have a stamp on my forehead that says Recently Single. After all, Boracay is also the capital of the lonely hearts club. Despite the artist’s invitation to pass by again, I opted to stay away as far as possible.

I sat on the beachfront, while trying to juggle taho, a camera and my henna tattoos. I gave out a sigh of relief. Everything was calm, and I was alone. It was perfectly fine. Memories that have been locked away seemed to have return: happy memories; sad memories of you. Was I really that love sick? Yes. You were my world, and every being of me revolved around you. I let out a bittersweet smile as if laughing at myself and at my situation.
When every little bit of me was filled up, I packed my things and placed my slippers in my bag, then ran. I ran while the waves adorned my feet, and while the soft sand slightly scratches my spirit. I do not know how long I ran, but I knew when it was enough. I had enough.

By the end of the vacation, I slightly touched across the fine wooden beams of my hotel room. I whispered “So this is it. This is goodbye.” The trickery of shadows formed again, and all I could think about is you must have gotten your things by now.

-o-

As I returned to the condo unit, I was hoping that I would not find the spare key in the mailbox. When I did find it, I prepared myself knowing the fact that when I go up, your things will be gone. As I entered slowly, I felt the place was ransacked. Were you really that in a hurry to get away from here? I picked up some of the misplaced items and closed the cabinet doors.

I’m home.


Note: Sorry, wasn’t able to post this immediately. Some details have been purposely excluded.

_________________
You fall in love with the person; it just so happens she is a girl. -R
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