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 What if your GF wants to play?

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enna
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PostSubject: What if your GF wants to play?   Mon 05 May 2014, 2:42 pm

I have a problem I hope you can help me....

This story I'm going to share is not mine but of my best friend.
My best buddy is a lesbian and is in a relationship with a sweet person and also a friend . They are happy living together and I wouldn't want their relationship to end up just like that. Let me call my buddy Alyssa and her Girlfriend Stacey .


Alyssa is a Civil Engineer and Stacey is an International language undergrad but is currently unemployed because of her asthma . Alyssa who is always busy with work, seemed contented with their relationship and does not really care about issues like jealousy and does not mind that her girl is entertaining friends and even having some kind of attachments online... Stacey is very fond of chatting and she likes making friends online in fact she already made a lot of friends and recently had a very close encounter with a pretty lass... but Alyssa remained firm with her contentment and trusted Stacey so much ,she even helps Stacey to get close and make the girl fall for her, until, finally the pretty lass fell in love with Stacey and they had this online relationship. Stacey refers to her as her imaginary girlfriend. Alyssa knows everything and Stacey always reminds her that the love affair is not true and that the one she really loves is Alyssa. But sometimes people really cant hide their curiosity and human that she is Alyssa
curiously checked out the chat history and read every bit of sweet words her girlfriend shares with her secret lover and finds out the real score between them. But,to keep their relationship intact she decided to keep everything to herself and continued to pretend that she was not affected and instead trusted Alyssa's promises and commitment to her all the more. Keeping their relationship in good standing is a hard task now that she already knew a lot.

What am I going to advice Alyssa? They are leaving for the States soon because Alyssa recently was hired by a US based company and she will bring Stacey along. They will stay there for a long time because the contract Alyssa signed with the company is for 7 years.The most difficult part now is the fact that Alyssa knows already that the pretty imaginary girlfriend lives in Philadelphia and Stacey not knowing that Alyssa knows everything still tries to convince her that they should stay in PA. without considering that Alyssa's work will be in New York. Alyssa still thinks that Stacey is only playing around and kept on saying she wont mind her doing that at all because she loves her so much. Now, do I need to seriously give her an advice and tell her to do something about the situation? What if it would only cause trouble rather than help.

On the other hand, Alyssa told me she noticed some changes, but she is not really making a fuss about it she even ignored the coldness Stacey is showing her sometimes. Meanwhile, Stacey continued to be unmindful of what Alyssa felt while looking at her having a long distance affair with the imaginary girlfriend.

I really need your help guys... so I can help my best buddy and give her options. After all in the end it's still her decision and she can either follow her heart and feel the pain alone or make her move to stop it. I pity her so much and I feel sad every time she brags about her girlfriend Stacey's loyalty and honesty. I want to at least give her something to think about I don't want to watch her cry each time she tells me about how she felt, and how she tries to keep that feeling to herself. I can't let her suffer more. She have been helping me with my troubles and I can't just sit here and do nothing.I want to return the favor this time....

Please share some of your insights...I will forever be thankful to you for helping my best friend.


Thank you and God Bless....







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Last edited by enna on Tue 06 May 2014, 5:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Tue 06 May 2014, 4:49 am

The best thing you can do is to organize a casual get together with them and let your conversation do the step one by one.

You make or tell a story as the same as your friend Alyssa and Staceys complicated love life. Just think of how you can get yourself to a place where you can advice them thru your storey, para di halata na nangingialam ka. Lol. Malay mo, pure flirty things lang pala yung Stacey sa sinasabi mong gf nya aside from Alyssa, and there is no really seriousness going on with them, to make it short, talagang naglalaro lang si Stacey.......and somehow, makaka escape naman sya ng maayos when it comes of choosing which is better between Alyssa and her imaginary gf. Gets? Another thing is, get their opinion also about flirty things........kapag maganda ang sagot nila pareho......ok lang, drive to your conclusion na pwede pa nilang maayos na dalawa yon if there's a third party involved, maski wag ka na manghimasok. Pero kung sablay ang mga sagot nila at meron na something 'argument', dyan ka pumasok to solve their problems.

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enna
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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Tue 06 May 2014, 4:55 am

Thanks for the advice... I will think of a way to have them both listen and interact to my make believe story

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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Tue 06 May 2014, 5:04 am

Good luck. I Hope it will work. Btw, just set of when will be our another date. And hoping Zai will be us.....this time for real. Cheers!

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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Tue 06 May 2014, 6:38 pm

The best thing you can do to your friend, is being a friend. Kasi no amount of advice can help her. hug
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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Mon 12 May 2014, 2:39 am

Your friend Alyssa is partly to be blamed. Why? Eh she sort of pushed Stacey to flirt around with other people. Stacey wouldn't have done it without her prodding. But then again, blaming her isn't the wisest thing to do now.

Kung ako kay Alyssa, I will talk to Stacey and be completely honest with how I feel. I would tell her about the chat messages that I read and ask her which of those messages are true and which are BS. I will listen to understand, restraining myself from making hasty judgments. Then I would call it a day and process everything that was revealed to me. If she made a lot of sense, I'll keep her but on one condition: end her relationship with the cyber-gf. If she's not amenable to that, then perhaps, she has already invested more than just internet time and connection with that person.

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DsCreet
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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Fri 25 Jul 2014, 12:15 pm

Napakahirap ng sitwasyon -- the best thing is to mediate, talk to them individually then set a date for both of them to talk about the issue. be brief and direct to the point, just choose proper words to use.

goodluck
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CmLee
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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Fri 25 Jul 2014, 1:57 pm

I'm a person that believes polyamory exists, even when it doesn't necessarily apply to myself nor to many of the people I encounter regularly. Pero as with all relationships, good communication is key. When you choose to be silent, you end your communication there. Pag hinayaan mo na at di ka naging honest sa feelings mo, sinarado mo na yung sarili mo sa communication niyo sana. And continuous naman ito, tulad nang continuous ang pagbabagong isip ng isang tao. Pag agad agad nahaharap yung tension or possible tension sa isang relationship, mas agad agad nagagawan ng paraan. Food for thought lang.

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enna
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PostSubject: Re: What if your GF wants to play?   Wed 30 Jul 2014, 8:49 am

Lj wrote:
Your friend Alyssa is partly to be blamed. Why? Eh she sort of pushed Stacey to flirt around with other people. Stacey wouldn't have done it without her prodding. But then again, blaming her isn't the wisest thing to do now.

Kung ako kay Alyssa, I will talk to Stacey and be completely honest with how I feel. I would tell her about the chat messages that I read and ask her which of those messages are true and which are BS. I will listen to understand, restraining myself from making hasty judgments. Then I would call it a day and process everything that was revealed to me. If she made a lot of sense, I'll keep her but on one condition: end her relationship with the cyber-gf. If she's not amenable to that, then perhaps, she has already invested more than just internet time and connection with that person.




Very well said , because I will also be doing that if I were in my friend's shoes. But she does not want to tell Stacey about the chat messages that she have been reading nor she doesn't want to know what Stacey feels towards her cyber gf . I know she loved her so much but she is afraid to lose her.

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